stand-up video: I’m the reason America is F#@KED – 9/18/2013

Chad Riden at Zanies 9/18/2013

Recorded at Zanies Nashville 9/18/2013 for Comedy Central’s UP NEXT Competition.

Posted in stand-up, video Tagged with: , , , ,

Chad Riden on The Daily Show – June 5, 2013

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Here’s the video of my appearance on The Daily Show June 5, 2013: “Care Bearers: Jessica Williams investigates America’s “health belt” and its rejection of expanded Medicaid coverage.”

Some still photos from the video:

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Chad Riden on The Daily Show

Posted in news, tv appearances, video Tagged with: , , , ,

stand-up video: guy puts plate of chicken on stage, comedian eats it

Chad Riden at Zanies Feb. 18, 2013

Don’t put stuff up on the stage. I’ll eat it.

Posted in stand-up, video Tagged with: , , , , ,

Scary Ghost (Halloween trick or treat sketch)

Scary Ghost – watch more funny videos
Posted in sketch, video Tagged with: , , , , ,

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-10-06

  • Nothing like a car wash to remind you that little kids are terrible at washing cars & pretty much everything. http://t.co/HwPgwIR8 #
  • you are delicious, @twix.. but when your commercial says, (blah blah) "..on to cookie.." I want to bash in the head of the voiceover guy. #
  • if you ever need to get pumped up on a Monday morning, just listen to the Team America soundtrack. #
  • When end-of-neighborhood'ers speed past my house, I imagine them crashing into their own houses and dying in the fire. #TheSecret #
  • I love this: The Phone Stacking Game // RT @HuffPostComedy: This game changes everything http://t.co/Ie8mp6e2 #
  • October 1, 2012 beard update http://t.co/t99pBWTk #
  • I'm on this show RT @nsup: "the thinking man’s hillbilly" @BillyWayneDavis at @ZaniesNashville ONE SHOW ONLY! Wed, 10/3 http://t.co/0W105wMZ #
  • Drew Barrymore named her daughter Olive. Future drink-garnish-named siblings might be called: Orange Peel, Lime Twist, Coctail Umbrella.. #
  • sounds like lunch at my house RT @bdonahueweedman: RT @NC5: Ky. Restaurant Closed After Bringing In Road Kill http://t.co/LpH3W723 #
  • :( http://t.co/hg1B8kEx #
  • listening to "The Evil Empire Of Everything," the awesome new Public Enemy album. Good job @MrChuckD! Get it now: http://t.co/beptexAU #
  • tonight at @ZaniesNashville with @BillyWayneDavis at 7:30! call 615-269-0221 & ask for the "Chad Riden discount" (none) http://t.co/0Yrb51v3 #
  • after @ZaniesNashville, we're all going to @SpringwaterNash for the Dive Laughing mic at 9:30, which is consistently the funnest mic in town #
  • Tonight is my 3rd consecutive night of local comedy shows. Will I get drunk enough to tell the ladies to "drop that hero and get w/ this 0?" #
  • Someone asked me to be her sugar daddy. Answer is YES so long as you accept as a substitute the Sweet-n-Low packets I took from IHOP. #
  • Are "gingers" are the last group of people you can still get away with disparaging for something they can't control? @JAustinJohnson = bully #
  • Beard update, Thursday October 4, 2012: less homeless? http://t.co/VVMTmEiK #
  • I haven't seen any clips of this "Nashville" show on ABC, but I'm pretty sure I already hate it a lot. @nashvillescene http://t.co/kCpeHfNf #
  • I had a fun night last night.. right up until I saw @LeeRoyDiggler eat biscuit and gravy with his bare hands. Some things can't be un-seen. #
  • ads talking about how great the iPhone 5's ear buds are is like making ads about how great the floor-mats are in a new Mercedes. #
  • I need someone to dog-sit for me next week. if any of you stalkers wanna come in out of the yard into the house, this is the perfect chance. #
  • Turns out I'm going to need somebody's help keeping this Franzia nozzle in my butt-hole. I can't do that AND work the valve. #GoVols #
  • just remembered that I dropped the mic @ChrisRock style after a particularly satisfying round of Drunk DefJam RapStar Monday night. #single #
  • I'm at Red Rooster (Nashville, TN) w/ 2 others http://t.co/UpU8XPY1 #
  • Prince's Hot Chicken Shack opens at 2pm today. Who is down, Nashville? Bring Tums and bring cash. #
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-29

  • you tell 'em, sassy britches! #
  • yeay! @NashvilleComedy Comic's Lunch w/ @maryjayberger & whoever else shows up: NOON today at @NashFarmMarket. Be there, suckas! #
  • what's with these kids taking alcohol rectally? just an excuse for ass-play? BACK IN MY DAY we drank booze with our GD mouths like MEN. #
  • . @MittRomney reminds me of @DannyDeVito's character in "Other People's Money." http://t.co/XIEWIH8G (video) #
  • .@CalliaRiden just tagged the end of a Chuck E. Cheese commercial's: "where kids can be a kid" with: "..for $30 an hour." So proud. #
  • RT @PaulinaGC: Now I miss the trifectas at Steve's. #beard #glasses #hoodie // if you spot a trifecta wearing plaid, you automatically win. #
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-22

  • I'm glad you guys are here to keep us all updated on how those sports events are going. HOW ELSE WOULD WE EVER KNOW? #
  • .@JesseIsTerrific you misunderstand! I'm being sincere. How would I ever follow sports if it weren't for the updates from random people? in reply to JesseIsTerrific #
  • I LOVE my TN Vols, but I HATE watching games live and do not enjoy them on tv or radio, so before social media I had no way to get updates. #
  • When I watch sports I wonder, "did that just happen? I better check social media for confirmation from people who saw the exact same thing." #
  • so Romney is addicted to porn. RT @radleybalko Anti-porn crusader says top Romney advisor told him Romney intends to "launch a war on porn." #
  • I don't hate sports as much as I LOVE it when someone is upset that their team lost. My dream is that they ALL could lose, all the time. #
  • Hey everybody who is all pissed off that their favorite sports team lost, try not giving a shit. Benefits: reduced stress & more free time. #
  • have people started equating having a HUGE phone with having a TINY penis yet? #
  • .@NSup's @NashvilleComedy Comics' Lunch! Today at NOON at the Farmer's Market food court thing! Be there, or suck it! #
  • Finally getting my ass implants! (@ Vanderbilt Health (One Hundred Oaks)) http://t.co/f1QHWmPi #
  • I'm at Hooters (Hermitage, TN) http://t.co/2v11KdgP #
  • All of my dick jokes are for the glory of The Lord. // RT @Ashley_Corby: Telling jokes for Jesus with @ChadRiden http://t.co/maftuSX3 #
  • Tim Tebow is the Sarah Palin of Football. @TimTebow @SarahPalinUSA #
  • I have the fashion sense of an invalid chimp, but I do know that your high-waisted shorts look unflattering and stupid, Ladies. #
  • I've always heard Cokes were healthy! WTF! // RT @Reuters: Studies show stronger link between soda and obesity http://t.co/zUXgDbmQ #
  • Guys! I just found a piece of papyrus that says Jesus thinks you're all ridiculous. #
  • Just found an outline for a YardFlix show 10 years ago when I did "Interpretive Christian Breakdancing" to a http://t.co/toYywOD5 #
  • "Hookers plus champagne equals hilarious comedy" http://t.co/r8waNkLm #
  • Look! A photo from way back in the day when the @nsup Tuesday mic had real AUDIENCES! http://t.co/xZSCGwpZ #
  • Old publicity photos (from 2003?) of me pretending to cry and/or snort a microphone? Awful. http://t.co/0AK21Kkm #
  • I'm at Starbucks Coffee (Manchester, TN) http://t.co/I67zi4IC #
Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-15

  • I haven't read Revelations lately but I'm pretty sure ‎"shirtless dudes" is one of the plagues of the apocalypse. #
  • It sounds like you guys have totally forgotten about The Alamo, Pearl Harbor and the Charmin. #NeverForget #
  • Why does everybody keep talking about 1991 made for tv drama "Never Forget" starring Leonard Nimoy? #TNTFORLIFE http://t.co/iMNMqnMe #
  • #fuhgeddaboudit #
  • They say, "everything happens for a reason." I think that's true, but sometimes that reason is: "because Daddy drinks." http://t.co/TqulArxT #
  • I need new pants. Fashion-aware people in Nashville, where do I go? I want to look nice but not gay or trendy. Goodwill is all I know. Help. #
  • .@Jest included me in this thing: "New Subreddit: Stand-Up Comedy In Screencaps http://t.co/MnexxquP (it's like Louis C.K. but faster)" in reply to Jest #
  • "All I want out of life is the new Wii.." #StandUpShots #Wii #WiiU http://t.co/xqBlXwmW #
  • no but my pals @stuckeymurray have the fuxedo: http://t.co/hhfubKvh //RT @CorporateJugger point me in the direction of a crotchless tuxedo? #
  • I hope my anti- anti-Islam-film film isn't misconstrued somehow. #
Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-08

  • FUN shows with @hannibalburess & @fatboyBarnett at @zaniesnashville tonight, despite my ridiculous BBQ-smoke-scented shenanigans. #
  • FYI @fortunefunny is awesome and hilarious and my new hero. If you like laughing your ass off go see her every chance you get. #
  • Old Ben Riden just told me I "drive like I'm in a race." Just shut it & hold on.
    http://t.co/pSNdkaf5 #
  • The Chad Riden way of doing things: water pump goes out on your daily driver? buy another old diesel Mercedes, fill it up with wvo & GO. #
  • Just got my dogs' oil changed & tires rotated. (@ Lebanon Road Animal Hospital) http://t.co/UawI6Hi8 #
  • Regardless of how hilarious it sounds, "Fudge Packer" is still a real job. http://t.co/kwrmhz35 #
  • Great idea! Let's consolidate ALL the awful crap onto your channel. // RT @MTV premiering @Twilight #BreakingDawn Part 2 sneak during #VMA #
  • My favorite way to drive myself crazy is to point out all the places where there should and easily could be got damn turn lanes. #
  • My roommate used to get off of work, eat a bowl of Raman, drink one beer & then pass out in my lazyboy. Every single day. #thatsmyroommate #
  • Oh how the mighty have fallen: Guido DeVille hates his cone of shame. http://t.co/WsarDxba http://t.co/IOJ9aK4t #bowWow #
  • I thought 3D printers were stupid until I learned they can print NEW 3D printers http://t.co/cPfgpl97 AND guns: http://t.co/JffmjZgt I'm in! #
  • VMAs during the DNC? Back in MY DAY @Mtv wanted to "Rock the Vote" not cock-block the vote. #grumble #grumble #WhipperSnappers #grumble #
  • the importance of "stage presence" exemplified: "um, ok" = the response I get 95% of the time I make a joke to a girl via text message. #
  • I'm at Cinco De Mayo (Old Hickory, TN) http://t.co/7z7UzxBZ #
  • WHO are these "undecided" voters and wtf is their problem? Are they being coy? Is it a way to pretend to be thoughtful? Read up and decide. #
Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-01

  • I love going to county fairs just to stay abreast of the latest trends in jailbait fashion. #
  • Nashville doesn't have one of those regional "ha ha! you just ate fried testicles!" things. I say we start doing that w/ hot chicken dicks. #
  • grab it by the head, use it to freak out @CalliaRiden. // RT @Tennessean: Snake pops head through AC vent of car.. How would you react? #
  • "denial" // RT @SNMNetwork: Okay, news fans, if you could sum up the first night of the #RNC in one word, what would it be? #
  • That's not how *I* feed animals! I put my dog's food in a special bowl while he does a little doggy dance.. I don't throw peanuts at-OH! oh. #
  • Check out my America Strikes Back: All-Access Pass. Make your own at http://t.co/0EWMp4sd #ColbertAllAccessPass http://t.co/7a7UvKhE #
  • Fundamentally reduce the size of this government? Chris Christie can't "fundamentally reduce the size" of his own ass. #awwwSNAP #
  • Consistently mentioning dead hookers, AIDS and rape are both edgy AND original & a great way to impress bookers. #fakeadvicefornewcomics #
  • The younger you are, the more receptive the crowd will be to your political and social views. Nevermind punchlines! #fakeadvicefornewcomics #
  • Comedy contests that target open-micers and require an entry fee are a great way to go pro overnight. #fakeadvicefornewcomics #
  • My pal @MoAlexander is going to the San Francisco comedy competition. Help him get there: http://t.co/D6iFjqQS #
  • no shit, they're liars. // RT @nprnews: Bank Of America Hasn't Modified Any Mortgages, As It Had Agreed To http://t.co/RXLpyx3Y #
  • You should travel to other cities and beg clubs to feature you before you even get an emcee gig at your local club. #fakeadvicefornewcomics #
  • I'll be at @ZaniesNashville fri-sat with @HannibalBuress & sun with @ChelseaLately's @FortuneFunny. If you can but you don't go you're dumb. #
  • HELL YEAH!! // RT @Henlips: Guess it's official. Thanks for everyone supporting Punching the clown! http://t.co/FxrkMDbf #
  • Fingers crossed that "Clint Eastwood" turns out to be Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly trying to be incognito at the RNC. #
  • Make me a 3D Printer that prints out 3D Printers & then you've got somethin // RT @tonyyoungblood: Build a 3D Printer.. http://t.co/ti3SS2OD #
  • Nobody follows the people you list in your #FF #039;s. Just RT stuff from those people.. that works. Also, if you RT #FF lists you should stop. #
  • now you're being mean: RT @LeeRoyDiggler: Shout out to @ChadRiden funny guy, good parent, comic, and bodybuilder. You are ok with me, Riden! #
  • Thanks buddy, fight the powers that be. // RT @FamousMike @ChadRiden great set @zaniesnashville tonight, fucking hilarious! #
  • You're my new favorite person// RT @shannonfox Met you at early show at Zanies tonight (complimented your Cons) and found you to be awesome! #
  • Good times. xxxooo // RT @Brianekiley Getting ready to lay down some jokes at @zaniesnashville with @ChadRiden and @hannibalburess . #
  • It's 187 miles to the @riden_family Hacienda, I have two Boston butts & one beef brisket, it's dark and I don't own sunglasses. #
Posted in twitter