Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-25

  • Say funnier stuff and more people will follow you. It's tacky to ASK them to. #

  • Pooning' hooters girls in their butt-holes using 911 sauce as lube. You? (@ Hooters) #
  • I'm designing the butt-hole equivilent of a sleeve tattoo. #
  • Everybody who was bitchin that "rape jokes are never funny" can suck it. #
  • A great way Improv Everywhere could surprise and delight me again would be by staging a mass suicide. That would be hilarious. @ImprovEvery #
  • I'm at Zanies Comedy Club (Nashville, advice TN) #
  • I never saw this coming, but somehow my beard has gone viral: RT @MattDavis: @ChadsBeard get off of my face! #
  • I'm at Exit/In (Nashville, TN) w/ 3 others #
  • "If we don't end the war on women, the war on women will end us."
    – H.G. Whatshesaid #
  • In 3rd grade, whenever somebody exclaimed "Jesus!" in class #mycrazyteacher would always say, "He isn't here and he isn't coming back." #
  • Ladies and Gentlemen meet my next wife: Maria Louise Del Rosario, the "Butt Hole Tattoo Girl": <3 <3 <3 #
  • If I can get in touch with these people, I will take it. RT @JesseIsTerrific: @ChadRiden Owning this is your destiny: #
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