Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-18

  • Parents who park their strollers in the middle of busy walkways should have their babies taken away from them forever. #
  • "Everybody needs to quit talking about my Johnson" – Adorable, find 10-year-old Chad Riden if he were here today to see Chad Johnson trending. #
  • Something tells me if anyone can take down the FBI it's a Juggalo lawyer representing the Insane Clown Posse but only if he's in full makeup #
  • Rumors from the Gathering say that the Insane Clown Posse's lawsuit against the FBI will include a subpoena of magnets. #
  • Nashville, come to Springwater right fucking now. @LandonOutLoud #
  • Fighting The Powers That Be. #
  • RT @geofftate96: I would like to have a good birthday again. Does anyone know how? // sleep through the whole thing and miss it? #
  • Some nerd just sent me this awesome link – dude wants to build the USS Enterprise for reals: #BuildTheEnterprise #BTE #
  • RT @McDonalds: Fill in the blank: This week I am looking forward to ____. // ..not getting sick because I ate the awful garbage you sell. #
  • "silence your cellphones and keep the talking to a minimum whisper" should be the rule OUTSIDE of comedy clubs, too. Shut it, errbody. #
  • Butt-hole tattoos seem like the perfectly logical next step: RT @ikpanderson @HuffingtonPost Girl with the anal tattoo? #
  • Boots Randolph "Yakety Sax" RT @JessicaNorthey:If you could ONLY listen to ONE artist/band for the rest of your life which one would it be? #
  • RT @TMZ Megadeth's Dave Mustaine Believes Obama 'Staged' Aurora Shooting Massacre || 10-4! Any word on Dave Ellefson's thoughts on the Sikh? #
  • I just got added to the lineup tonight at @ZaniesNashville with @madflavor, but you bought your tickets already, right? #
  • this guy: RT @T_Major1: Poor @floyd_erick didn't get a pic with @madflavor or @ChadRiden #toobad #
  • I'm such a fat fucking clown: RT @T_Major1: @ChadRiden and I at #Zanies #Cashville … dude was amazing! #
  • missed connection: girl at my show last night who remembered making eye contact w/ me while she projectile vomited at a @DougStanhope show. #
  • Dear my missed connection puking girl from Alabama. Please contact me – you are awesome. Lets move to Aruba and start new lives together. #
  • I uploaded a @YouTube video Carlos Mencia promo boo'd at Joey "Coco" Diaz show #
  • MT @dOHboy13: @joerogan @madflavor they announced @carlosmencia coming & the place ERUPTED in boos // I have video: #
  • Anytime I hear talk about Virgin Mary I think, "Let's get off of Jesus' mom.. 'cause He just got off of YOURS" and then I honk a bike horn. #
  • Seal Team 6 or The A-Team or whoever needs to go spring Pussy Riot out and bring them directly to my house. #
  • I will convert to a polygamy brand of Mormonism if all of the Pussy Riot girls will marry me. Free green cards, ladies. Think about it. #
  • If Russians don't rise up and overthrow their government because of this Pussy Riot jail sentance, I just don't understand people at all. #
  • 2-4 pm every day is complete bullshit and should be an international siesta time. #
  • If Russians don't rise up and overthrow their government because of this Pussy Riot jail sentence, I just don't understand people at all. #
  • because although he IS awful, he isn't as BIG of a living joke? RT @SarahPalinLinks: Why Isn't Paul Ryan Getting the Sarah Palin Treatment? #
  • Whycome every guy I've ever seen on a motorcycle looks like Hulk Hogan in a vest? #
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