Tag Archives: whores

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-23

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  • I spent a few hours at @nashfilmfest filming stuff. I’ll be back this evening for the 9pm red carpet with a flame-throwing car. #NaFF2011 #
  • RT @DJ_Spinja “I’m really tempted to go see 13 Assassins!!!” // it does sound awesome.. 9:30 tonight- don’t miss it, suckas! #NaFF2011 in reply to DJ_Spinja #
  • She always promises the world, but delivers a trailer park. #
  • So Exxon, Bank of America & GE get HUGE tax breaks.. my take-away: I should totally start a multi-billion $ corporation http://bit.ly/eRC1GJ #
  • The churchy’s say no abortion.. but God gave you a loophole: for Passover, just “forget” to dump lamb’s blood on your door. Problem solved! #
  • Trying to read about Passover so I can mock it, but it’s so excruciating- like reading some baseball player’s detailed wacky superstitions. #

  • You’ve got the right to believe whatever you want, but *I* believe all religions are equally ridiculous. #

  • a question for @ComedyCentral & @TheComedyAwards: we know how to donate TO “The Comedy Fund” but how do we apply for assistance FROM it? #
  • a stand-up video from my shows opening for @DougStanhope – “Chad Riden – The Death Penalty: WWJD?” http://bit.ly/deathWWJD #
  • .@ComedyCentral I see info about donating, the EIF, MPTV Fund & Actors Fund, but not info about how comics qualify for and get assistance. #
  • 4:20 on 4/20! DERRRRRRRRP! #
  • Read: $$$!//RT @realjeffreyross I get to roast him hard every night in front of an angry mob.. RT @fastlou711 Why are u saving Sheen’s show? in reply to realjeffreyross #
  • Keep your loud music to yourself, please! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and this beholder thinks your tunes suck ass. #
  • Booze.. WWJD? Jesus would turn water into wine and save the party. #
  • Skanky Whores.. WWJD? Befriend them and be best pals for life. Right, Mary Magdalene? #
  • .@SarahKSilverman Here’s Stacey Campfield’s blog post about it http://lastcar.blogspot.com/2011/04/dont-teach-gay-bill-passes-senate-ed.html in reply to SarahKSilverman #
  • .@SarahKSilverman the BIG questions is: what weird gay-sex scandal will eventually force Stacey Campfield to come out of the closet? in reply to SarahKSilverman #
  • .@SarahKSilverman little known fact: Stacey Campfield’s “don’t say gay” bill was originally called “ignore the gay and it will go away” #

  • The more often someone says “you know what I’m sayin” the less likely I am to know or care what they are saying. #

  • thanks to @Anundson @riley_fox @MattWardComedy @superpixels & @JohnUptonComedy for the #FF‘s! #FF you, too! #
  • saw a black guy at hobby lobby stocking shelves, rocking a Hitler mustache. So, that’s officially a thing you can do again. #
  • RT @McDonalds The incident in Baltimore is sad and reprehensible. // YOUR FOOD is sad and reprehensible. The Baltimore incident is tragic. in reply to McDonalds #
  • RT @DJ_Spinja Michael Jordan did it in a commercial. // AH! So that was the green light. I haven’t seen ads since I bought a @TiVo in reply to DJ_Spinja #