Tag Archives: weird al yankovic

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-22

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  • What happened to all the jewelry commercials? Isn’t it just as romantic to buy overpriced useless shit in January? #
  • I’m very skilled at avoiding almost all pop music UNTIL it shows up as @AlYankovic parodies or “Kid’s Bop” cd commercials on tv #
  • Turkey bacon tries too hard to look like real bacon. Just be yourself, man, people will like you for being YOU. #
  • thank Megatheos people write tv show recaps online.. otherwise I don’t know how I could possibly find out what happened on the shows I WATCH #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because I LOVE these shows.. but before I watch them I want to hear some random dude’s take on it. #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because like most of America, I’d rather read than watch tv. #
  • totally missed the Golden Globe awards. I hope somebody will write up a recap so I know whose work I should respect & who I shouldn’t like. #

  • If you love reading internet recaps of hit tv shows as much as I do, you’ll love my new project: video re-enactments of internet recaps. #

  • reading internet recaps of tv shows I DON’T watch, so I can rest assured that I didn’t waste my time on them. #
  • @dominos took a REAL focus group to a REAL farm to show them the REAL tomatoes they use to make REALLY shitty pizza : http://on.fb.me/g9dJOc#
  • I’m doing a show in Stillwater, OK on Saturday night. It’s all just an excuse to FINALLY visit The National Wrestling Hall Of Fame @NWHOF#
  • @NWHOF I hope your Andre The Giant shrine doesn’t have a time limit for worshipers – I plan on being there a while. #
  • It’s MLK Day.. or as they call it in Arkansas, “F#ckin’ MON-DAY” [extended menacing glare] #mlkday#
  • Amy Sedaris Makes “Potato Ships” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaSTopnH-Pw :: Amy on YouTube is the best thing to happen to the internet. #
  • TONIGHT in Oklahoma City: Thursdays Don’t Suck @ The 51st Street Speakeasy, 8:30pm :: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=126884097376825#
  • RT @JesseIsTerrific: “Had a great time with @BillyWayneDavis & @ChadRiden [TUES] night..” // I’m just now starting to recover. HEY-ZEUS in reply to JesseIsTerrific#
  • Just drove past the fourth 18 wheeler laying on its side that I’ve seen today. No cars wrecked at all.. Just four brilliant truckers. #

  • I’m enjoying a relaxing, self indulgent spa day; getting awesome new beard extensions. #

  • RT @funnybusiness “@comedynews @ChadRiden thanks for the post! http://ow.ly/3I2ub" // no problem! I miss me some Asheville in reply to funnybusiness#
  • RT @birq “@ChadRiden What a coincidence. I’m getting my pubes frosted right this very minute.” // you’ve just gotta treat yourself sometimes in reply to birq#
  • Italian Jim’s “Super Pepperoni” has over 300 pepperoni slices. 300! (@ Italian Jim’s Pizzeria) [pic]: http://4sq.com/gFXRhq#

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-10

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  • all my best stories are either pending court cases.. or can’t be told until the statute of limitations runs out.. or are totally forgotten. #
  • Having kids in your house is like having an infestation of rats. They chew up your stuff, build little nests, are impossible to get rid of. #
  • ..unless you set up traps and use rat poison. That usually does the trick. #
  • Jogging is better on the Wii Fit.. ’cause in real life you never run past Hitler, Chuck Norris, Darth Vader, Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg. #
  • apparently all you have to do is mention Chuck Norris and @ChuckNorriz will follow you. I “auto-follow” porn stars and SEO/marketing douches #
  • I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself because Laura says “it hits too close to home” for her to enjoy it. Thanks @louisck #
  • @JesseIsTerrific nope.. she decided that after seeing the pilot episode. So you see, I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself… #
  • Sadly, David Letterman’s @Late_Show is in reruns this week. Here’s my Top 10 Signs You’re Obsessed With The Late Show: #
  • 10. Your strict “no-talking during the show” policy includes commercial breaks and a 5-minute post show “cool down.” @Late_Show #
  • 9. During lovemaking, you scream “Who Asked For It?” @Late_Show #
  • 8. Bill DeLace recognizes your face and name. / You know who Bill DeLace is. (tie) @Late_Show #
  • 7. You reenact the show every morning with homemade Paul and Dave dolls. @Late_Show #
  • 6. You’re still holding a candle-light vigil for the return of Pea Boy. @Late_Show #
  • 5. Your apartment is known as “The Dave Cave,” but your name isn’t Dave. @Late_Show #
  • 4. Constantly on alt.fan.letterman, arguing the historical significance of Peggy The Foul Mouthed Chambermaid. @Late_Show #
  • 3. The centerpiece of your shrine for Chris Elliott is a giant jar containing Chris Elliott. @Late_Show #
  • 2. All you ever wear is double-breasted suits and your Larry “Bud” Melman pajamas. @Late_Show #
  • 1. After all these years, you’re still searching for Dave’s erotic blog. @Late_Show #
  • Callia’s first concert: “Weird” Al Yankovic. Awesome! (@ Tennessee Theatre w/ @supercatmatt) http://4sq.com/6cKjA2 #
  • I’m still waiting for the very first time any athlete effects my life in any real way whatsoever [rolling eyes, making jerk off hand motion] #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-05-01

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  • If you don’t have a recliner in your kitchen then you’re doing it wrong. http://twitpic.com/1i5fz9 #
  • I love people who fact-check *jokes*. Next maybe you could track down that chicken and find out once and for all WHY it crossed that road. #
  • On South Park will CC bleep “shark whistle” b/c they’re scared of pissing off irrationally angry Hammerheads? http://tinyurl.com/CCensorship #
  • @alyankovic Allright! Allright! You play a mean game of poker, sir. We just caved and bought tickets to see you in Knoxville on July 8th. #
  • Looking for the next celebrity hero of mine to pester with an insane one-sided twitter conversation. @SteveGuttenberg? @michael_winslow? #
  • Just jump-started a lady’s battery. That sounds like a euphemism for something a lot more interesting than what actually happened. #
  • Who’s the lucky gal or lad, who’ll win our FREE Absolutely Nothing?! FOLLOW us, RT now, & find out TOMORROW! #HateThisCrap #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-24

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  • I’ll be at Zanies Nashville tonight & Sunday with @danieltosh – I’ll be referring to myself as Chad.0.2-beta #
  • @alyankovic my daughter asked me to book you to play her 7th birthday party. requests include “The Saga Begins,” “Yoda,” and “Polkamon!” #
  • RT @danieltosh nashville is like hollywood’s fatter sister that believes in God. day 2 of 3 #
  • RT @TUAW Look out, Flava Flav: iPad as fashion statement http://bit.ly/aMVDHf // flav should do this and just run the clock app on it #
  • @alyankovic Callia wants you to know that she has $14.58 in her piggy bank and she will do chores to make more to pay you to play her party. #
  • just got added to the lineup of the 4/20 Special @zaniesnashville tuesday @ 7:30PM Get tix: http://ping.fm/VS5Ja #
  • had a fun weekend at @ZaniesNashville with a funny up-and-comer named @DanielTosh – look him up, I think that kid will make it someday. #
  • Special 4/20 show @ zanies with dan whitehurst and ralphie may. Fire it up, errbody. (@ Zanies Comedy Nightclub) http://4sq.com/7U53nv #
  • tonight I’ll be at The Rusty Nail (4054 Andrew Jackson Way; Hermitage, TN) discussing my fear of being kidnapped and murdered by squirrels. #
  • @alyankovic Callia and I want to make a serious offer for you to play her birthday party. 4 songs – just you (and an accordion?).. how much? #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-24

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  • Awesome. RT: @alyankovic http://twitpic.com/mdmh7 – My wife and I do everything together. #
  • has a $600+ speeding ticket from Turner County, GA. No f#@&ing way that’s getting paid. WTF am I supposed to do? Not pay the mortgage? #
  • [ChadRiden.com] Never made this: “Pull My Finger” http://adjix.com/w4pj #
  • I’ll be stomping thru GA like Sherman the first week of November, doing a run of random shows. Please tell friends: http://adjix.com/kru5 #
  • is too legit to quit #
  • My mom just called and asked me about Quintessons. I wish I’d recorded the conversation. http://ping.fm/6ZDxx #
  • scheduling myself for a 5pm bourbonoscopy. (via @lgu) #
  • Ha ha! RT @birbigs “Jeff Dunham breaks ComedyCentral ratings records” http://bit.ly/4hSowj in other news, comedy is reportedly broken. #
  • Not me, man. F-that show. RT @jdsteinhauser @ChadRiden I saw that shit! I want to see the show now just to see how bad it is. #
  • Jeff Dunham show is dumb, racist, homophobic, ignorant & lowest common denominator.. of course it’s a huge mf’in success. #idiocracy #
  • Naturally, if he called me tomorrow with a paycheck, i’d be happy to cash it.. & he’d instantly be a legendary, visionary genius. #
  • I feel like I’m piling on to someone who was tackled a long time ago by badmouthing the Jeff Dunham Show. I don’t like badmouthing comics. #
  • I’ve met Dunham a few times and he couldn’t be a nicer guy, but Jesus Herbert Christmas The Third I can’t stand to watch that show. #
  • It’s like when Carlos Mencia had a show. My non-comic friends all LOVED it. I wanted to rip my brain out of my skull and set it on fire. #
  • Joke I used to do: “I saw a promo on Comedy Central that said, ‘What’s inside the Mind of Mencia?’ Uh, I don’t know.. other people’s jokes?” #
  • Again, I feel like I’m jumping on the bandwagon by crapping on Carlos Mencia. It’s been done.. by comics way better at it than me. #
  • Of course, I’ve been saying Jay Leno’s show sucked infected donkey ass for 19 years now. Everybody else just now seem to have realized that? #
  • #CHADRIDEN1K started on Oct. 8 with 388 followers. I’m now at 398! Slow down, everybody.. we don’t want to blow Twitter up. #