Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-22

  • What happened to all the jewelry commercials? Isn’t it just as romantic to buy overpriced useless shit in January? #
  • I’m very skilled at avoiding almost all pop music UNTIL it shows up as @AlYankovic parodies or “Kid’s Bop” cd commercials on tv #
  • Turkey bacon tries too hard to look like real bacon. Just be yourself, man, people will like you for being YOU. #
  • thank Megatheos people write tv show recaps online.. otherwise I don’t know how I could possibly find out what happened on the shows I WATCH #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because I LOVE these shows.. but before I watch them I want to hear some random dude’s take on it. #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because like most of America, I’d rather read than watch tv. #
  • totally missed the Golden Globe awards. I hope somebody will write up a recap so I know whose work I should respect & who I shouldn’t like. #
  • If you love reading internet recaps of hit tv shows as much as I do, you’ll love my new project: video re-enactments of internet recaps. #

  • reading internet recaps of tv shows I DON’T watch, so I can rest assured that I didn’t waste my time on them. #
  • @dominos took a REAL focus group to a REAL farm to show them the REAL tomatoes they use to make REALLY shitty pizza : http://on.fb.me/g9dJOc#
  • I’m doing a show in Stillwater, OK on Saturday night. It’s all just an excuse to FINALLY visit The National Wrestling Hall Of Fame @NWHOF#
  • @NWHOF I hope your Andre The Giant shrine doesn’t have a time limit for worshipers – I plan on being there a while. #
  • It’s MLK Day.. or as they call it in Arkansas, “F#ckin’ MON-DAY” [extended menacing glare] #mlkday#
  • Amy Sedaris Makes “Potato Ships” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaSTopnH-Pw :: Amy on YouTube is the best thing to happen to the internet. #
  • TONIGHT in Oklahoma City: Thursdays Don’t Suck @ The 51st Street Speakeasy, 8:30pm :: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=126884097376825#
  • RT @JesseIsTerrific: “Had a great time with @BillyWayneDavis & @ChadRiden [TUES] night..” // I’m just now starting to recover. HEY-ZEUS in reply to JesseIsTerrific#
  • Just drove past the fourth 18 wheeler laying on its side that I’ve seen today. No cars wrecked at all.. Just four brilliant truckers. #
  • I’m enjoying a relaxing, self indulgent spa day; getting awesome new beard extensions. #

  • RT @funnybusiness “@comedynews @ChadRiden thanks for the post! http://ow.ly/3I2ub" // no problem! I miss me some Asheville in reply to funnybusiness#
  • RT @birq “@ChadRiden What a coincidence. I’m getting my pubes frosted right this very minute.” // you’ve just gotta treat yourself sometimes in reply to birq#
  • Italian Jim’s “Super Pepperoni” has over 300 pepperoni slices. 300! (@ Italian Jim’s Pizzeria) [pic]: http://4sq.com/gFXRhq#

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-05

  • I just generated my #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: tonight, comedy, night – http://w33.us/2kit #
  • http://twitpic.com/rpdom – The Reindeer toilet. If this is in your house, I hate you. #
  • It’s childish, I know.. but I snicker every time the CNN anchor says, “Cyber Monday.” Cyber-anything = “cyber-spanking it” in my mind. #
  • You’re all invited to “Thanksgiving 2: Electric Boogaloo” – dinner & break-dancing movies tonight at my house: http://adjix.com/xbvq #
  • Turkeys are cheap if you buy em the day after Thanksgiving. The bird is in the oven! The kegerator is full of Paulaner Hefe-Weizen! #
  • AND after the meal, we’ll be gathering around the tv to watch the break dancing cinematic classics Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2. #
  • (I hate sports, so this is what we do instead of watching football or whatever it is people do.) #
  • I KNOW we did the exact same thing Feb 25th, but “Electric Boogaloo” is too fun to say & “Thanksgiving 3: Electric Boogaloo” sounds stupid. #
  • Technically, this could be “Thanksgiving 4: The Quest For Peace” – but I don’t want to over think this. #
  • I know it’s late notice, but “planning” is for ass-hats. If you can’t make it for any reason, we’ll take that to mean you don’t love us. #
  • The E! Network interrupted the Punky Brewster ‘behind the whatever’ show with “breaking news” about Tiger Woods. Suck it, everybody at E! #
  • Thanks to everybody who came out for “Thanksgiving 2: Electric Boogaloo 2: Electric Boogaloo’er” last night. Turkey + booze + breakin = fun #
  • Random Chad Fact: I have an insane, irrational hatred for sports, athletic ability, and physical effort in general. #
  • Having tooled around with Google Wave for all of 7 minutes, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a failure and they should turn it off. #
  • Watching Maria Bamford’s free ONE HOUR HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL again. You should too: http://mariabamford.com #
  • Cash is great. I also take checks, paypal, cheese, beer and pictures, but leave only footprints & the scent of cheep booze & beef jerky. #
  • every news show on tv has turned into some retarded mix of Entertainment Tonight, Mtv News & the end of Planet of the Apes. #
  • my favorite thing on Twitter: random person says, “Get 1000′s of followers!” – then you click on their page and they’ve got 42 followers. #
  • I still view everything as a giant jocks vs. nerds struggle. I was in a bar this weekend and football was on tv.. #
  • ..someone asked me “who’s your team?” and I told them “I wish they ALL would lose.” You should have seen the confused stares. #