Tag Archives: stillwater

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-29

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  • When I walked in to Mexico Joe’s in Stillwater, Oklahoma, a waiter said, “AWESOME beard, bro!” Beard confidence levels are high. So is he. #

  • In the shower I used extra shampoo and conditioner on my beard to reward it for a job well done. #
  • Website idea: Facebook rip off where you connect your profile only to people you’ve had sex with. I’m unsurprised that FuckBook.com is taken #
  • I really want to do a themed comedy tour but “The Troubled Loners Of Comedy” has been hard to get off the ground for many reasons. #
  • Tonight my set will be an hour-long comedy tribute to my beard: 8:30 at the Quality Inn ballroom in Stillwater, OK :: http://on.fb.me/fZOASM #
  • It is both a blessing and a curse that the very stupidest people I meet are the ones who don’t understand me, hate me and are offended. #
  • Bring me a figgy pudding! Bring me a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer. I won’t go until I get some, so bring some out here. #
  • Just once, I want to hear a President say, “the state of the Union is TERRIBLE.” #
  • Still trying to get to the bottom of this whole MTV “Skins” controversy. What band made that video? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that song. #
  • If Jay Leno is the ‘Hasty Pudding Man of Year,’ I want to award Harvard the ‘Figgy Pudding Go Fuck Yourself, He’s Terrible And So Are You.’ #
  • RT “@Tennessean: Parents, what are you going to do if your county closes schools?”// roll my eyes and mutter all day about candy-ass pansies #

  • Rebranding myself “The Golden Voiced Dipshit”- BONUS: I can ramp up my boozin’ and losin’ if that’ll make it more interesting for the press. #

  • RT @BillyWayneDavis: “Did baby Jesus need a diaper?” // yes, AFTER Mary coined the phrase, “holy shit!” in reply to BillyWayneDavis #
  • RT “@latimes: Sarah Palin harshly criticizes Obama’s #sotu // STOP TREATING THIS NONSENSE LIKE IT’S NEWS! Ignore her and she will go away. #
  • @marcmaron Gallagher once went into @zaniesNashville and walked thru the crowd, passing out candy from the greenroom while heckling h’liner. #
  • I just want to take this opportunity to tell everybody that you can suck it. #
  • “@lesleyrebecca:Saw you were a few blocks away. Nearly came out just to say hi.”//please do. I’m generally bored and desperate for attention #
  • #FF @LandonOutLoud – he’s new to twitter, but is an old friend & a veteran road comic. Ladies & gentlemen, the very funny.. Landon Lyon! #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-22

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  • What happened to all the jewelry commercials? Isn’t it just as romantic to buy overpriced useless shit in January? #
  • I’m very skilled at avoiding almost all pop music UNTIL it shows up as @AlYankovic parodies or “Kid’s Bop” cd commercials on tv #
  • Turkey bacon tries too hard to look like real bacon. Just be yourself, man, people will like you for being YOU. #
  • thank Megatheos people write tv show recaps online.. otherwise I don’t know how I could possibly find out what happened on the shows I WATCH #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because I LOVE these shows.. but before I watch them I want to hear some random dude’s take on it. #
  • reading internet recaps of hit tv shows. because like most of America, I’d rather read than watch tv. #
  • totally missed the Golden Globe awards. I hope somebody will write up a recap so I know whose work I should respect & who I shouldn’t like. #

  • If you love reading internet recaps of hit tv shows as much as I do, you’ll love my new project: video re-enactments of internet recaps. #

  • reading internet recaps of tv shows I DON’T watch, so I can rest assured that I didn’t waste my time on them. #
  • @dominos took a REAL focus group to a REAL farm to show them the REAL tomatoes they use to make REALLY shitty pizza : http://on.fb.me/g9dJOc#
  • I’m doing a show in Stillwater, OK on Saturday night. It’s all just an excuse to FINALLY visit The National Wrestling Hall Of Fame @NWHOF#
  • @NWHOF I hope your Andre The Giant shrine doesn’t have a time limit for worshipers – I plan on being there a while. #
  • It’s MLK Day.. or as they call it in Arkansas, “F#ckin’ MON-DAY” [extended menacing glare] #mlkday#
  • Amy Sedaris Makes “Potato Ships” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaSTopnH-Pw :: Amy on YouTube is the best thing to happen to the internet. #
  • TONIGHT in Oklahoma City: Thursdays Don’t Suck @ The 51st Street Speakeasy, 8:30pm :: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=126884097376825#
  • RT @JesseIsTerrific: “Had a great time with @BillyWayneDavis & @ChadRiden [TUES] night..” // I’m just now starting to recover. HEY-ZEUS in reply to JesseIsTerrific#
  • Just drove past the fourth 18 wheeler laying on its side that I’ve seen today. No cars wrecked at all.. Just four brilliant truckers. #

  • I’m enjoying a relaxing, self indulgent spa day; getting awesome new beard extensions. #

  • RT @funnybusiness “@comedynews @ChadRiden thanks for the post! http://ow.ly/3I2ub" // no problem! I miss me some Asheville in reply to funnybusiness#
  • RT @birq “@ChadRiden What a coincidence. I’m getting my pubes frosted right this very minute.” // you’ve just gotta treat yourself sometimes in reply to birq#
  • Italian Jim’s “Super Pepperoni” has over 300 pepperoni slices. 300! (@ Italian Jim’s Pizzeria) [pic]: http://4sq.com/gFXRhq#