Tag Archives: sports

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-06-25

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  • Happy Dead-Beat Father’s Day! Comedy Show 6-7pm TONIGHT at @ListeningRoom in Cummins Station, no cover! :: http://t.co/AgjSDN9 #
  • Look everybody, now they’ve got VEGETARIAN beans! How. Do. They. Do. It. http://t.co/QQH4UIj #
  • .@normmacdonald I feel like we’ve let YOU down. I love everything you do, but holy shit do I hate everything about sports. start podcasting! in reply to normmacdonald #
  • I secretly hoped Tracy Morgan would talk about butt-fucking the whole time this morning. That would have been a hilariously meta call-back. #

  • I’ve never believed video games could make you violent, but if I ever see a green pig wearing a hard hat I’ll probably throw something at it #

  • just called @comcast @comcastcares trying to turn off the phone service I never use but w/o that service my bill would have been higher? wtf #
  • .@flewintheair I’m pretty sure @Comcast has some money laundering scheme going on.. Nothing they do makes any sense. in reply to flewintheair #
  • @KatrinaLColeman @anundson I’m NOT raising money for a drunk driving dead beat dad. Instead of wasting money on booze support your f’n kids. in reply to KatrinaLColeman #
  • Driving my car in or out of my garage makes me feel like a low budget suburbanite Batman. #
  • Thanks to everybody who #FF‘d me. #FF you, too, buddy. #FF you, too. #
  • hey @Anundson I have a lead on a brainwashing seminar / cult indoctrination weekend you might be interested in. It’s only $200 to register. #
  • The only people who ever actually follow me after someone #FF‘s me is the other people who were listed in the same #FF . so it’s not working #
  • #FF Dre! #FF Snoop! #FF Death Row! Now here comes my left blow! (am I doing this right?) #FF Eazy-E, wherever he is right now errbody. #

  • When single people have the same options to join each others’ health plans & tax breaks like married couples then THAT’s equality. #

  • My brother Eric is the only person I know who could be (and is) totally pissed off about avocados. I feel the same way about chipotle. #
  • i will not be impressed until my car can just wake me up when we get there. http://t.co/QssCbLP #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-09

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-10

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  • all my best stories are either pending court cases.. or can’t be told until the statute of limitations runs out.. or are totally forgotten. #
  • Having kids in your house is like having an infestation of rats. They chew up your stuff, build little nests, are impossible to get rid of. #
  • ..unless you set up traps and use rat poison. That usually does the trick. #
  • Jogging is better on the Wii Fit.. ’cause in real life you never run past Hitler, Chuck Norris, Darth Vader, Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg. #
  • apparently all you have to do is mention Chuck Norris and @ChuckNorriz will follow you. I “auto-follow” porn stars and SEO/marketing douches #
  • I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself because Laura says “it hits too close to home” for her to enjoy it. Thanks @louisck #
  • @JesseIsTerrific nope.. she decided that after seeing the pilot episode. So you see, I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself… #
  • Sadly, David Letterman’s @Late_Show is in reruns this week. Here’s my Top 10 Signs You’re Obsessed With The Late Show: #
  • 10. Your strict “no-talking during the show” policy includes commercial breaks and a 5-minute post show “cool down.” @Late_Show #
  • 9. During lovemaking, you scream “Who Asked For It?” @Late_Show #
  • 8. Bill DeLace recognizes your face and name. / You know who Bill DeLace is. (tie) @Late_Show #
  • 7. You reenact the show every morning with homemade Paul and Dave dolls. @Late_Show #
  • 6. You’re still holding a candle-light vigil for the return of Pea Boy. @Late_Show #
  • 5. Your apartment is known as “The Dave Cave,” but your name isn’t Dave. @Late_Show #
  • 4. Constantly on alt.fan.letterman, arguing the historical significance of Peggy The Foul Mouthed Chambermaid. @Late_Show #
  • 3. The centerpiece of your shrine for Chris Elliott is a giant jar containing Chris Elliott. @Late_Show #
  • 2. All you ever wear is double-breasted suits and your Larry “Bud” Melman pajamas. @Late_Show #
  • 1. After all these years, you’re still searching for Dave’s erotic blog. @Late_Show #
  • Callia’s first concert: “Weird” Al Yankovic. Awesome! (@ Tennessee Theatre w/ @supercatmatt) http://4sq.com/6cKjA2 #
  • I’m still waiting for the very first time any athlete effects my life in any real way whatsoever [rolling eyes, making jerk off hand motion] #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16

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    jay_leno-cicada

  • I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, with the utmost sincerity.. SUCK IT, LENO! He’s like the cicada of ruining late night tv. #
  • if nobody EVER talked to me about sports again, it’d still be too damn soon. How ’bout them Idle Conversations, huh? HELLUVA SEASON. #
  • Kudos to Conan for standing up for himself, AND considering what is “fair to Jimmy Fallon”. If only Leno thought of anyone but himself.. #

    • imwithcoco

  • TEAM CONAN! #teamconan (even though I watch Dave Letterman live every night possible & catch conan later) #
  • Fantastic I’m with COCO image // RT @carynloveless: http://www.sirmikeofmitchell.com/imwithcoco/ #
  • just did an interview for the fine people at CandidCareer.com – I hope I wasn’t too candid about my “career” telling wacky poop jokes. #
  • Today, I gotta be honest: I’m not feelin’ you. I hope you get your shit together and shape up into an awesome Tonight, otherwise we’re thru. #
  • Dick Ebersol has the balls to talk shiz about Conan O’Brien? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he the twat that ruined SNL from 1980-85? #
  • just above my bedroom in the wall somewhere.. my house makes a noise like a hammer tapping a 2×4.. every 5 seconds or so off and on all day. #
  • people say the noise is air in the hot water pipes, pipes about to burst, and/or Recurrent Spontaneous PsychoKinesis (gh-gh-gh-ghosts!) #
  • I’m not sure which is worse: farty plumbing? slowly exploding house? or a mildly annoying poltergeist? #
  • maybe I can get @JoeSouthards to bring his ghostbusters tricorder over and scan the house thetan level (or whatever). #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-05

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  • I just generated my #TweetCloud out of a year of my tweets. Top three words: tonight, comedy, night – http://w33.us/2kit #
  • http://twitpic.com/rpdom – The Reindeer toilet. If this is in your house, I hate you. #
  • It’s childish, I know.. but I snicker every time the CNN anchor says, “Cyber Monday.” Cyber-anything = “cyber-spanking it” in my mind. #
  • You’re all invited to “Thanksgiving 2: Electric Boogaloo” – dinner & break-dancing movies tonight at my house: http://adjix.com/xbvq #
  • Turkeys are cheap if you buy em the day after Thanksgiving. The bird is in the oven! The kegerator is full of Paulaner Hefe-Weizen! #
  • AND after the meal, we’ll be gathering around the tv to watch the break dancing cinematic classics Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2. #
  • (I hate sports, so this is what we do instead of watching football or whatever it is people do.) #
  • I KNOW we did the exact same thing Feb 25th, but “Electric Boogaloo” is too fun to say & “Thanksgiving 3: Electric Boogaloo” sounds stupid. #
  • Technically, this could be “Thanksgiving 4: The Quest For Peace” – but I don’t want to over think this. #
  • I know it’s late notice, but “planning” is for ass-hats. If you can’t make it for any reason, we’ll take that to mean you don’t love us. #
  • The E! Network interrupted the Punky Brewster ‘behind the whatever’ show with “breaking news” about Tiger Woods. Suck it, everybody at E! #
  • Thanks to everybody who came out for “Thanksgiving 2: Electric Boogaloo 2: Electric Boogaloo’er” last night. Turkey + booze + breakin = fun #
  • Random Chad Fact: I have an insane, irrational hatred for sports, athletic ability, and physical effort in general. #
  • Having tooled around with Google Wave for all of 7 minutes, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a failure and they should turn it off. #
  • Watching Maria Bamford’s free ONE HOUR HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL again. You should too: http://mariabamford.com #
  • Cash is great. I also take checks, paypal, cheese, beer and pictures, but leave only footprints & the scent of cheep booze & beef jerky. #
  • every news show on tv has turned into some retarded mix of Entertainment Tonight, Mtv News & the end of Planet of the Apes. #
  • my favorite thing on Twitter: random person says, “Get 1000′s of followers!” – then you click on their page and they’ve got 42 followers. #
  • I still view everything as a giant jocks vs. nerds struggle. I was in a bar this weekend and football was on tv.. #
  • ..someone asked me “who’s your team?” and I told them “I wish they ALL would lose.” You should have seen the confused stares. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-11-14

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  • HEY @KeithAlberstadt I’m watching Florida play football.. turns out Vanderbilt has sports teams?! Thought you’d like to know. #
  • Back in Atlanta. What’s fun to do at 2am here? Hook it up somebody. #
  • so far I’m hearing ‘hookers’ and ‘blow’ both of which requires money in amounts that I do not have, but are otherwise fine suggestions. #
  • @ChadRiden no money if you do it right. (via @JaneHaze) #
  • @JaneHaze I’ve read all the Iceberg Slim books, but my pimp game is terribly insufficient for such an endeavor. in reply to JaneHaze #
  • Dragged to super douche nightclub.. It smells like Red Bull and sweat. Also many girls with great personalities! Ugh. (via @azizansari) #
  • “My stand-up career started sluggish—then tapered off.” Zane Sickle, Comic/Adventurer For Hire (via @veinarmor) #
  • Make a marketing post; it trips some keyword auto-follow thing the marketers use. Try it—don’t follow back! (via @veinarmor) #
  • Tonight’s my last night in Atlanta for a while: 8pm @ the Punchline w/ Larry Miller & Patti Vasquez http://tinyurl.com/yetmoce #
  • Listening to Marc Maron rant about his “validate me!” ‘status updates’ on WTF ep.3 #
  • …and relating completely. Listen to his podcast, it’s fantastic. #
  • Mississippi has declared a State of Emergency. It’s not the tropical storm coming.. they just realized that they live in Mississippi. #
  • I’m at Zanies in Chicago tonight. I lived in DuPage county as a kid.. It feels like going back to a home i’ve never been to. #
  • I had fun in Atlanta this weekend, but not the “bust in your house with Katt Williams and rob you” kinda fun: http://tinyurl.com/y8a8tbh #
  • crashed at the Chicago NashvilleStandUp.com Outpost near Wrigley Field w/ Damian Anaya, @AlexKendig & @BenBergman. On to Wausau, WI tonight. #
  • I don’t want to jinx it, but so far all signs point to this being a horrific disaster of a night. I smell “nightmare one nighter.” #
  • Warning sign #1: instead of hotel info, bookers instructions say to call the club mgr’s cell when i get close. #
  • Bad sign #2: managers phone rings and rings and goes to voicemail. #
  • Oh shit #3: at the venue, nobody to be found, but chippendales promo posters outnumber comedy night stuff 30:1 #
  • #4: bartender says, “oh there probably won’t be anyone here tonight. we just changed the night we do comedy. Last week we had seven people.” #
  • #5: 20 minutes pass.. manager does not call back. bartender calls him, he picks right up. He’ll be there in 10 min. #
  • #6: the key to the hotel room is an actual key. Make that motel.. And not a nice one. #
  • #7: I didn’t even need the key. My motel room door is slightly ajar and extremely murdery! Room is gross, old, dirty, and smelly. #
  • #8 the mattresses are covered in plastic. They are the ONLY things in the room that are not filthy. #
  • BTW, while I appreciate everyones comments and whatnot, I (for one) do NOT “like” my status. It is unfavorable. #
  • #9: comics pay full price for drinks #
  • #10: showtime was 10 minutes ago, the mic isn’t even set up yet. #
  • #11: no mic stand! no stool. #
  • #12: “club” lighting – purple gels on spotlights, spinny Saturday night fever lights #
  • 13: 7 people in the crowd. I ask, “how did you promote the show?” and the staff looked confused at the question. #
  • Comics Should ALWAYS Eat And Drink For Free Update: comics drink for free only while on stage here? I need a funnel. #
  • #14: one of the bartenders was in the back of the room talking LOUDLY to two dudes she is involved with and got thrown out. #
  • #15: bartender chick is back. Minus one dude, plus crying and attitude. #
  • #16: here’s what I was waiting for: manager says I don’t get paid here, the booker will mail a check. Perfect. #
  • It was nothing short of magic. // RT @Anundson: @ChadRiden sounds like a great night #
  • A couple that runs the motel were at the show: “anything we can get you?” me:”2 hookers and a case of champagne.” “we can’t do that, but..” #
  • Completely undeterred, tonight I’ll be dropping in for a quick set at the Comedy Club on State Street in Madison,WI 53703 @ 8:30 #
  • @ a coffee place in Madison, WI called “In The Company Of Thieves” – I knew I’d like this place just from the name. I feel right at home. #
  • @nambucom in the iphone app, when composing for ping.fm please add a character count like when composing for twitter. thanks #
  • #CHADRIDEN1K started on Oct. 8 with 388 followers. I’m now at 408. The response has been overwhelming, everybody. What a roller coaster! #
  • Woah! Define “hipster beard”-mines a “loser beard”// RT @ChristFinnegan It’s official-hipster beards r the Members Only jackets of this era. #
  • “the comedy club on state st.” in Madison isn’t the most creative name for a comedy club, but it’s a nice joint full of funny local comics. #
  • No! Do it!//RT @DrFunkhole: had been toying with the idea of trying my hand at stand up. EVIL SPIRITS COME OUT! Hallelujah! You’ve cured me. #
  • I’m gonna be extra funny and stuff tonight thru Saturday at Jokerz in Milwaukee, WI. Come laugh at my gut! #
  • Isnt this a Simpsons episode? // Radioactive water creeps deep under vast Nevada Test Site http://bit.ly/494vv1 via @LATimesNation #
  • On the road again…I just can’t wait to get on the road again…Willie’s right, its an addiction (via @billmaher) #
  • Every time I see someone in a turtleneck I think “you should get that circumcised.” #
  • I’ve been giving myself the slow, sarcastic clap all day. Everybody, stand-by for Gonorrhea jokes.. #
  • Do I hear the theme from “Superfly”? In Milwaukee tonight, doing two shows with Sinbad. http://tinyurl.com/sinbadWI #