Tag Archives: snoop dogg

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-06-25

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  • Happy Dead-Beat Father’s Day! Comedy Show 6-7pm TONIGHT at @ListeningRoom in Cummins Station, no cover! :: http://t.co/AgjSDN9 #
  • Look everybody, now they’ve got VEGETARIAN beans! How. Do. They. Do. It. http://t.co/QQH4UIj #
  • .@normmacdonald I feel like we’ve let YOU down. I love everything you do, but holy shit do I hate everything about sports. start podcasting! in reply to normmacdonald #
  • I secretly hoped Tracy Morgan would talk about butt-fucking the whole time this morning. That would have been a hilariously meta call-back. #

  • I’ve never believed video games could make you violent, but if I ever see a green pig wearing a hard hat I’ll probably throw something at it #

  • just called @comcast @comcastcares trying to turn off the phone service I never use but w/o that service my bill would have been higher? wtf #
  • .@flewintheair I’m pretty sure @Comcast has some money laundering scheme going on.. Nothing they do makes any sense. in reply to flewintheair #
  • @KatrinaLColeman @anundson I’m NOT raising money for a drunk driving dead beat dad. Instead of wasting money on booze support your f’n kids. in reply to KatrinaLColeman #
  • Driving my car in or out of my garage makes me feel like a low budget suburbanite Batman. #
  • Thanks to everybody who #FF‘d me. #FF you, too, buddy. #FF you, too. #
  • hey @Anundson I have a lead on a brainwashing seminar / cult indoctrination weekend you might be interested in. It’s only $200 to register. #
  • The only people who ever actually follow me after someone #FF‘s me is the other people who were listed in the same #FF . so it’s not working #
  • #FF Dre! #FF Snoop! #FF Death Row! Now here comes my left blow! (am I doing this right?) #FF Eazy-E, wherever he is right now errbody. #

  • When single people have the same options to join each others’ health plans & tax breaks like married couples then THAT’s equality. #

  • My brother Eric is the only person I know who could be (and is) totally pissed off about avocados. I feel the same way about chipotle. #
  • i will not be impressed until my car can just wake me up when we get there. http://t.co/QssCbLP #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-10

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  • all my best stories are either pending court cases.. or can’t be told until the statute of limitations runs out.. or are totally forgotten. #
  • Having kids in your house is like having an infestation of rats. They chew up your stuff, build little nests, are impossible to get rid of. #
  • ..unless you set up traps and use rat poison. That usually does the trick. #
  • Jogging is better on the Wii Fit.. ’cause in real life you never run past Hitler, Chuck Norris, Darth Vader, Willie Nelson and Snoop Dogg. #
  • apparently all you have to do is mention Chuck Norris and @ChuckNorriz will follow you. I “auto-follow” porn stars and SEO/marketing douches #
  • I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself because Laura says “it hits too close to home” for her to enjoy it. Thanks @louisck #
  • @JesseIsTerrific nope.. she decided that after seeing the pilot episode. So you see, I have to watch ‘Louis’ on F/X all by myself… #
  • Sadly, David Letterman’s @Late_Show is in reruns this week. Here’s my Top 10 Signs You’re Obsessed With The Late Show: #
  • 10. Your strict “no-talking during the show” policy includes commercial breaks and a 5-minute post show “cool down.” @Late_Show #
  • 9. During lovemaking, you scream “Who Asked For It?” @Late_Show #
  • 8. Bill DeLace recognizes your face and name. / You know who Bill DeLace is. (tie) @Late_Show #
  • 7. You reenact the show every morning with homemade Paul and Dave dolls. @Late_Show #
  • 6. You’re still holding a candle-light vigil for the return of Pea Boy. @Late_Show #
  • 5. Your apartment is known as “The Dave Cave,” but your name isn’t Dave. @Late_Show #
  • 4. Constantly on alt.fan.letterman, arguing the historical significance of Peggy The Foul Mouthed Chambermaid. @Late_Show #
  • 3. The centerpiece of your shrine for Chris Elliott is a giant jar containing Chris Elliott. @Late_Show #
  • 2. All you ever wear is double-breasted suits and your Larry “Bud” Melman pajamas. @Late_Show #
  • 1. After all these years, you’re still searching for Dave’s erotic blog. @Late_Show #
  • Callia’s first concert: “Weird” Al Yankovic. Awesome! (@ Tennessee Theatre w/ @supercatmatt) http://4sq.com/6cKjA2 #
  • I’m still waiting for the very first time any athlete effects my life in any real way whatsoever [rolling eyes, making jerk off hand motion] #