I don’t know what made me think of this today, but sometime in the early 80’s my dad got a perm. He came home with his hair afro’d up and said, “isn’t this COOL!?”

“No, dad.” We said. “You look like Richard Simmons.”

Dad laughed and kept right on thinking he’d really nailed it. Once he has made his mind up, there’s no telling him any different. I don’t know what inspired him to get a perm. I just remember thinking, “what a goof.” It was the one and only time he did anything different with his hair, but it certainly wasn’t the first or the last time my dad missed the mark on cool.

I don’t know if a picture of this exists, but if one does my mom has it in some scrapbook somewhere. If I ask her to check through her archives, it will only validate and encourage her hoarding, and nobody wants that. Instead, I Photoshopped my dad’s current Facebook profile image onto a Richard Simmons photo. You’ll just have to imagine my dad 30 years younger, grinning ear to ear and not wearing a very gay tank top.

Dad gets a perm (digital artist's rendition)