- I like my women the way I like my coffee: mocha & on ice with honey #
- I like my women the way I like my cars: fast and stolen #
- I like my women the way I like my weed: sticky & mexican #
- I like my women the way I like my fridge: turned on and full of booze #
- I like my women the way I like my play-dough: moist, mold-able & non-toxic #
- I like my women the way I like my Internal Revenue Service: taxing my ass #
- I like my women the way I like my razors: disposable #
- I like my women the way I like my burgers: cheap and greasy #
- KNOXVILLE 8pm tonight: The Upstairs Underground Stand-Up Comedy Show @ Preservation Pub/Market Square http://on.fb.me/eRnLQT w/ @KnoxComedy#
- Callia made a video fri wondering how/why @MetroSchools could possibly be closed for bad weather: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KpF_Fp5hVs#
- Today: I pledge my love for my lovely wifera and go out of my way to make her feel special. Tomorrow: back to being emotionally unavailable. #
- On my way to deliver sushi to my wife, the serpentine belt snaps. She warned me that something was wrong w/ the truck but I didn’t listen. #
- I just saw a guy climb into his Thunderbird window Dukes Of Hazzard style. Nashville, sometimes you are just too adorable for words. #
- Facebook’s “like” button is ok, but on old MySpace you could give one or two kudos. I miss the ability to DOUBLE-like something. #
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Just farted so hard my butt hurts. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody. #
- Went to (still at) Spanky’s open mic. Good to see people unwittingly paying tribute to @JesseIsTerriffic & the stupid traditions we started. #
- One major difference: one last joke. We USED to do that b/c we only had a few comics & wanted to fill an hour and a half show. 3.25 hours in #
- 3.25 hours in and we still have 3 comics left. THEN we’ll do one last joke. To stretch it out. Even though 90% of the comics have left. #
- Then we’ll award a can of Fresca (“Fresca? that’s good drinkin’!”) to a ‘winner’ like we always did, except with reverence instead of irony. #
- Also missing: the certificate that proclaims the ‘winner’ to be “the biggest hack in Nashville this week.” THATs what that award means erbdy #
- RT “@heatherhocomedy: oh how I miss the fresca” // no, you miss those people in that scene in those days (as do I).. but they’re all gone. #
- Druncle Chad shoulda never started tweetering last night. Going to that show is like revisiting an abusive relationship with an x-girlfriend #
- It was actually a fun, half-decent show (for the most part) but some time around hour 3 of open mics I start teetering on the edge of sanity #
- I mentioned @JesseIsTerrific in a tweeter last night but I spelled terrific wrong because I am an idiot. #
- 8pm TONIGHT @ Lindsay Street Hall; 901 Lindsay St; Chattanooga, TN 37402 w/ @DougStanhope :: http://on.fb.me/hycXTl :: who has bail money? #
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@DougStanhope just took the audience outside for a mid-set smoke break thanks to the wireless mic. Awesome. http://twitpic.com/40xmtv#
- Another @DougStanhope shot from Chattanooga, TN tonight http://twitpic.com/40xny2#
- @NPR is here capturing @DougStanhope taking the audience out for a smoke, but @ComedyNews will post it first.. http://twitpic.com/40xpl5#
- One more @DougStanhope photo from backstage http://twitpic.com/40xsdp#
- RT “@MoAlexander: @ChadRiden dude you guys played a church” // what better place to preach to the choir? #
- RT @Gary__Fletcher “I’ll MC.. for FREE. And by “FREE” I mean I’ll suck your dicks. With my mouth.”// deal! @lizwearstights has to watch. in reply to Gary__Fletcher#
- Gat DERN it #
- RT “@Anundson: @tonyyoungblood @JesseIsTerrific I didn’t go. How was Riden?”// i was foolish for trying to follow the mattoid! #
- @Gary__Fletcher did a fantastic job, Craig Smith made a special guest appearance performing with the mattoid, and Bingo was all dressed up! #
- In the immortal words of Reno Collier, “I don’t FEEL GOOD.” #