Tag Archives: conan o’brien

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-26

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  • RT @reggiewatts A soul patch is as if Hitler’s mustache moved downstairs. // i call it “the inverted Hitler” #
  • I’m busy all day today with the post-Father’s Day wrap-up paperwork. I have to make sure everyone gets proper credit for their efforts. #
  • At Home Depot playing “Long Hair Dude? Or Flat Chested Hippie Chick?” (@ Home Depot) http://4sq.com/cd6Nnh #
  • RT @JesseIsTerrific Too hot to grill. That’s just wrong. // Nonsense! I battled the elements without fear and the steaks were delicious. #
  • Gen. Stanley McChrystal drinks Bud Light Lime. The terrorists have already won. http://ping.fm/07or1 #
  • Why line up for iPhones like cattle when you will be able to walk into the store and buy one tonight or tomorrow with no wait? #
  • RT @TheComedyStore: Leno has Lower ratings Than Conan Did – Well done, NBC! http://tumblr.com/xb2c3rirf // suck it, Leno! #
  • Knoxville, I’ve missed your skank ass. See you again in September. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-12

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  • this is my favorite photo so far from the whole BP oil spill fiasco: http://ping.fm/ROXJj #
  • someone just asked me if there are any stand-up open mic’s at Bonnaroo. Of course there are. Absolutely. See you there! #
  • you know it’s a good meal when the aftermath looks like a pagan sacrifice took place. http://ping.fm/zg1Ut #
  • Somebody just puked in the pool. Way to ruin it for everybody, kid. #
  • I wanted a cold beer. I envisioned a cold beer. I manifested a cold beer. mmmm. http://ping.fm/JMYEu #
  • RT @cnnbrk Rig survivors: BP ordered shortcut on day of blast http://on.cnn.com/b6JPul // way to go, jackasses #
  • RT @cnnbrk BP says it’ll donate sales of oil skimmed from surface of Gulf to wildlife fund http://on.cnn.com/cY13TN // slow, sarcastic clap #
  • Wed, I’ll be doing 30 minutes of hilarious pre-Bonnaroo comedy at Wingaroo: http://ping.fm/TEx3n #
  • I only have two things: my friends and my thermos. #
  • Tonight @ Wingeroo! 6:30pm Wingers Grill and Bar; 138 Relco Drive; Manchester, TN 37355 – come on over, hippies / hipsters! #
  • Show was delayed due to rain.. We’ll get started in a few. Come on over hippies, I can smell you. I know you’re here. http://4sq.com/9HbomR #
  • I-24 West @ exit 110 – ramp is a parking lot. Interstate traffic still flowing. #
  • Just drank two beers on @conanobrien ‘s tab (!) – thanks @reggiewatts and @stuckeymurray – have fun on the rest of your tours. #
  • RT @JerriBlank: Submit your life-altering choice and I promise to be glib! // I want to look cooler. What body part should I get amputated? #
  • @RobertWeedman @bdonahueweedman are you two sitting next to each other, communicating via Twitter? #
  • two shows tonight and two shows tomorrow in Johnson City, TN – let’s keep it classy, East Tennessee. http://ping.fm/QF8Yh #
  • RT @BryanMills Where are your shows in JC? // Comedy Zone @ the holiday inn; 101 W. Springbrook Drive; Johnson City, TN 37604 – 8 & 10pm #
  • I just missed my exit because I was steering with my knee, writing jokes about computer operating systems.. ’cause I’m smart! #
  • SCRATCH in Johnson City, TN: The best pizza in all of east Tennessee, hands down.. And plenty of good music on vinyl. stock up on chocolate sydneys, or you’ve failed. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-23

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  • According to Twitter I’m supposed to be watching the #goldenglobes? The thought never occured to me. #
  • too cruel? RT @comedynews: Jay Leno is a joke robot on auto-pilot with zero self-awareness | Las Vegas Sun http://tinyurl.com/yb5fqh3 #
  • Jay Leno did NOT seem like a “nice guy.” Am I the only person who was paying attention 1992-3? Also, his show has ALWAYS been terrible. YES. #
  • http://twitpic.com/yre75 – Jay Leno is the cicada of ruining late night tv. #
  • Return of the Jedi? // RT @shanagallery http://twitpic.com/yuh0p -Newish painting, 16″ x 16″. untitled at the moment but taking suggestions. #

    • The result of my alien encounter.

  • Callia was late to school. Signing her in, I had to write down the reason so I wrote, “ALIENS!” Not even a smile from them! C’mon.. #
  • I’ll be hanging around NYC mid-March. I can’t wait to get back to the city that never lets me sleep! http://ping.fm/InecY #
  • masturbating bear! #TEAMCONAN #
  • I’m With Dipshit! #TeamDipshit http://ping.fm/S3KOL #
  • The All-White Basketball League?! Good luck with that, Crackas. http://ping.fm/beYHc #
  • I know tonight is kinda Conan’s night, but can we get #TeamDipshit to trend? No? Fair enough. http://ping.fm/S3KOL #
  • tonight I’m hosting the “I HAVE NO FRIENDS” stand-up comedy contest at Music City Bar & Grill in Nashville: http://adjix.com/saks @nsup #
  • So what happens when Jay Leno’s “new” Tonight Show fails? Who takes over the show when he leaves? ..are we closer to Bill Hicks’ prediction? #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-16

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    jay_leno-cicada

  • I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, with the utmost sincerity.. SUCK IT, LENO! He’s like the cicada of ruining late night tv. #
  • if nobody EVER talked to me about sports again, it’d still be too damn soon. How ’bout them Idle Conversations, huh? HELLUVA SEASON. #
  • Kudos to Conan for standing up for himself, AND considering what is “fair to Jimmy Fallon”. If only Leno thought of anyone but himself.. #

    • imwithcoco

  • TEAM CONAN! #teamconan (even though I watch Dave Letterman live every night possible & catch conan later) #
  • Fantastic I’m with COCO image // RT @carynloveless: http://www.sirmikeofmitchell.com/imwithcoco/ #
  • just did an interview for the fine people at CandidCareer.com – I hope I wasn’t too candid about my “career” telling wacky poop jokes. #
  • Today, I gotta be honest: I’m not feelin’ you. I hope you get your shit together and shape up into an awesome Tonight, otherwise we’re thru. #
  • Dick Ebersol has the balls to talk shiz about Conan O’Brien? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he the twat that ruined SNL from 1980-85? #
  • just above my bedroom in the wall somewhere.. my house makes a noise like a hammer tapping a 2×4.. every 5 seconds or so off and on all day. #
  • people say the noise is air in the hot water pipes, pipes about to burst, and/or Recurrent Spontaneous PsychoKinesis (gh-gh-gh-ghosts!) #
  • I’m not sure which is worse: farty plumbing? slowly exploding house? or a mildly annoying poltergeist? #
  • maybe I can get @JoeSouthards to bring his ghostbusters tricorder over and scan the house thetan level (or whatever). #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-10-03

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  • I've asked my lovely wifera to speak to me in the classic "special ed student" voice whenever she's telling me what to do in the future. #
  • If you hate getting off of your couch as much as I do, download 'Contra: ReBirth' for the Wii. #
  • RT @nsup @Anundson hey gang @ChadRiden joins me on WRVU 91.1 FM 8am-9am. Get up stand up yo!!!! #
  • Just saw Barbara Streisand on HLN talking about coming out of retirement. One of my oldest jokes #
  • Sumter, SC! Tmrow I'll be on WDXY 1240AM 8:30ish am & Friday night headlining at the Sumter Opera House 8:30p -rally all slacker smartasses! #
  • Planning for an upcoming camping trip, my lovely wifera requested I buy an electric blanket in case it gets cold. #
  • In completely unrelated news, my lovely wifera hates and wishes I would shut my "stupid word hole." #
  • Mocking a commercial on tv, I said, "I am Optimus Prime." Callia said, "No, you are Laziness Prime." Touche, my young Padawan. #
  • Tonights show'll be WEIRD RT @comedynews Letterman says he was victim of $2-million extortion attempt in sex case http://tinyurl.com/ydeobbm #
  • Only David Letterman could a) have something like this happen to him b) take a story like this and make it get constant laughs on his show. #
  • Conan needs to fall and bust something else if he wants to get back in the news again. #
  • Letterman's personal life is none of our Gat Dern business but watch em take a VERY personal & intimate & embarrassing story & made it FUNNY #
  • @TVBarn I agree with @damianholbrook, I've gotten an anti-Dave vibe from you for a while now. Re-read 'Late night TV still a boys' club..' in reply to TVBarn #
  • Why is it that if you make one wrong move with a clock radio, your whole day is ruined? #
  • Ok, I pushed the wrong button. Why do I have to unplug it to get it to STF up? #
  • headlining the Opera House in Sumter, SC tonight at 8:30. Tell your friends, 'cause I don't have any here: http://ping.fm/nmLV4 #