Tag Archives: beard

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-07-23

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  • When I say I’m going to eat more fruits and vegetables I’m talking about olives soaked in gin. For my health. #
  • Saturday, I’ll be coming out of comedy retirement for this special show at the Bluesboro in Murfreesboro, TN: http://t.co/nF1Wa7N #
  • Screw planking, it’s all about backwards running now: http://t.co/xGEkiGf #
  • Running is my passive aggressive way of making sure my knees and ankles know they ain’t no better’n me. #
  • RT @angelbomb @ChadRiden Hey come up to Minneapolis and make us laugh. Please… // I’d love to! @AcmeComedyCo is the bestest. in reply to angelbomb #
  • after seeing the promo for IFC’s “Whisker Wars” I think I’ve found my true calling: competitive facial hair growing. http://t.co/mmwra2m #
  • .@natebargatze you got screwed by Super Dave. I was excited to see him until I realized how much time he was killing. in reply to natebargatze #
  • Short set tonight in Nashville: http://t.co/yQyV4rs​.php?eid=220599524649113 & Saturday doing an hour in Murfreesboro: http://t.co/nF1Wa7N #
  • Amy Winehouse dead!? NO. Didn’t see that one coming. Did. Not. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-02-26

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  • Tonight in birmingham with @DougStanhope: http://facebook.com/event.php?eid=167552836606289 #
  • RT “@LeeRoyDiggler: @JesseIsTerrific @ChadRiden Huh?” // Doooooooo whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaat? #
  • my head is still spinning a little from this weekend with @DougStanhope – here’s some of my photos :: http://on.fb.me/hBDhDS #
  • I wonder if Lt. Col. Chad Riden (AFCENT Director of Space Forces Space Control Officer) ever Googles himself & sees me. http://bit.ly/fi5MFr #

  • Let the record show that this weekend @DougStanhope called me: “wicked funny” once, “fucking brilliant” twice, and “stupid” only one time. #

  • I’ll be at @ZaniesNashville with @MrSeanPatton wed-thurs & @TomGreenLive fri-sun. Think you can handle that much pure, unfiltered funny!? #
  • RT “@lesleyrebecca: @ChadRiden @tomgreenlive is coming back? I want to touch the scar again.” // then I’ll see ya this weekend! #
  • RT “@seanparrott: I’m sorry, Chad. @chadriden” // NO YOU ARE NOT #
  • If you’re in Nashville and have the night off and you don’t come out to see @MrSeanPatton thursday night you can just go fuck yourself. #

  • Callia: “Daddy, I’ve heard you say the F-word, but you weren’t mad.. you were laughing on the phone with your friend.” #

  • RT “@Henlips: Man, It’s a good thing nobody loves me…” // I love you, Henry Phillips! That ain’t the booze talkin. Typing, yes- not talkin #
  • I wish you nothing but pain in your silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon! Poetry INDEED leaping from his fingertips. #
  • RT @latimesent: A new ‘Police Academy’ — a good idea? http://lat.ms/edNOPV // OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG #
  • due to a trimming mishap earlier today my beard is only operating at 80% of it’s normal power. We’re working to restore functionality asap. #
  • I tried a gel-fueled beard comb-over but it did not meet quality control standards. #BeardGate2011 #

  • RT “@CalliaRiden: @ChadRiden your beard looks like a squirrel died on your face.” // ha! HA! Go to bed. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-02-05

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  • When I smile people just think some creature is moving around in my beard. #

  • For a DJ name, I’d go with “Chad Riden” so as to avoid any confusion. Same thing if I was a wrestler or a black comedian. #

  • RT @wrongforum So your black comedian name wouldn’t be “Wildin’ Riden”?// Also not “Riden Dirty” “RidenHood” “Riden Along In My Automobile” in reply to wrongforum #
  • Wait a minute.. there’s trouble in the Middle East!? you’re shittin’ me. #
  • In honor of Black History Month, I just joined http://t.co/MjYniNx :: now making new friends there who are totally down with my struggle. #
  • RT @laptopmag “@TUAW iOS is losing to WP7 in the Mobile OS bowl..tell your readers to come vote”// we voted with our $$ in the real world. in reply to TUAW #
  • Whatever company sells the “giant Jesus cross on the side of the interstate” kit is making a killin’! (AND making profit off of a killing). #
  • In Baltimore, MD tonight & tomorrow, looking for John Waters’ mustache in the audience: http://www.sullyscomedycellar.com/ #
  • Signs you’re not ready to have kids: the stains on your carpet all have good stories behind them but you can’t remember any. #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-01-29

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  • When I walked in to Mexico Joe’s in Stillwater, Oklahoma, a waiter said, “AWESOME beard, bro!” Beard confidence levels are high. So is he. #

  • In the shower I used extra shampoo and conditioner on my beard to reward it for a job well done. #
  • Website idea: Facebook rip off where you connect your profile only to people you’ve had sex with. I’m unsurprised that FuckBook.com is taken #
  • I really want to do a themed comedy tour but “The Troubled Loners Of Comedy” has been hard to get off the ground for many reasons. #
  • Tonight my set will be an hour-long comedy tribute to my beard: 8:30 at the Quality Inn ballroom in Stillwater, OK :: http://on.fb.me/fZOASM #
  • It is both a blessing and a curse that the very stupidest people I meet are the ones who don’t understand me, hate me and are offended. #
  • Bring me a figgy pudding! Bring me a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer. I won’t go until I get some, so bring some out here. #
  • Just once, I want to hear a President say, “the state of the Union is TERRIBLE.” #
  • Still trying to get to the bottom of this whole MTV “Skins” controversy. What band made that video? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that song. #
  • If Jay Leno is the ‘Hasty Pudding Man of Year,’ I want to award Harvard the ‘Figgy Pudding Go Fuck Yourself, He’s Terrible And So Are You.’ #
  • RT “@Tennessean: Parents, what are you going to do if your county closes schools?”// roll my eyes and mutter all day about candy-ass pansies #

  • Rebranding myself “The Golden Voiced Dipshit”- BONUS: I can ramp up my boozin’ and losin’ if that’ll make it more interesting for the press. #

  • RT @BillyWayneDavis: “Did baby Jesus need a diaper?” // yes, AFTER Mary coined the phrase, “holy shit!” in reply to BillyWayneDavis #
  • RT “@latimes: Sarah Palin harshly criticizes Obama’s #sotu // STOP TREATING THIS NONSENSE LIKE IT’S NEWS! Ignore her and she will go away. #
  • @marcmaron Gallagher once went into @zaniesNashville and walked thru the crowd, passing out candy from the greenroom while heckling h’liner. #
  • I just want to take this opportunity to tell everybody that you can suck it. #
  • “@lesleyrebecca:Saw you were a few blocks away. Nearly came out just to say hi.”//please do. I’m generally bored and desperate for attention #
  • #FF @LandonOutLoud – he’s new to twitter, but is an old friend & a veteran road comic. Ladies & gentlemen, the very funny.. Landon Lyon! #