Some foolish performers toil away at open mics and local showcases.. then go on the road, honing their skills for years.. gradually working their way up the ranks as they develop and mature and refine their acts.. but how stupid is all that noise? Developing material? Seasoning as a performer? Honing your craft? What a crock of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Margarine! Get you a wacky costume, find a hook and get your lazy rear out to the cattle call auditions, dippy!
That’s what happened to me. I took my wacky keister down to the America’s Last Talent Standing auditions and the fine folks at NBC immediately took to my “balding yet somehow extremely hairy, lazy, overweight, white, smart ass” character. It was unique. It was unprecedented. It was exactly what they were looking for. I did my thing and they made me A Star. Wham-bam, thank you ‘merica! BOOYAA! America’s Favorite Comedian Of All Time TM can has yr cheezburger!
I’ve been riding that glorious wave of support and love and free stuff for years. I gotta say, it’s been an incredible journey. Thanks to all my fans, you know? Without you, I couldn’t (wouldn’t?) do this. That is straight from the heart, bitches. You know that.
With all of this said, I have an announcement to make. I’m putting my clever “Chad Riden” character on hold for a while. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE playing that guy. He’s so cute and adorable and funny and relate-able.. such an “everyman” character. I think that’s what made him so universally loved – the fact that deep down, there’s a little “Chad Riden” in all of us, you know? (and hey, if there’s NOT, there CAN BE after the show! Youknowatimsayin ladies? This guy knows what I’m mocking about.)
I never thought I’d see the day, but the time has come to pack up the “Chad” costume and put that era of my career behind me for now. I’ve got something new I want to share with the world and I really need to devote all of my synergies into this full heartedly.
Introducing Granny McSassy-Pants! My new character is a sassy Southern granny who speaks her mind! She don’t take no junk from nobody! AND (this is the best part) she’s got herself something of a potty mouth! I’ve got the next quarter totally booked up, but please use the contact form to book Granny McSassy-Pants for your tv show or movie or county fair and we might be able to cancel something to make time for it.
Thanks again to all the Chad Riden Fans out there, I hope you continue to follow me as I break new ground in this exciting, revolutionary adventure.