Category: twitter

I bulk-imported all my twitter updates when I rebuilt the site with WordPress in Sept. 2009. Since then, I’ve archived twitter stuff to weekly digests on this site.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-10-06

Nothing like a car wash to remind you that little kids are terrible at washing cars & pretty much everything. http://t.co/HwPgwIR8 # you are delicious, dosage @twix.. but when your commercial says, (blah blah) "..on to cookie.." I want to

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-29

you tell 'em, this sassy britches! # yeay! @NashvilleComedy Comic's Lunch w/ @maryjayberger & whoever else shows up: NOON today at @NashFarmMarket. Be there, side effects suckas! # what's with these kids taking alcohol rectally? just an excuse for ass-play?

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-22

I'm glad you guys are here to keep us all updated on how those sports events are going. HOW ELSE WOULD WE EVER KNOW? # .@JesseIsTerrific you misunderstand! I'm being sincere. How would I ever follow sports if it weren't

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-15

I haven't read Revelations lately but I'm pretty sure ‎"shirtless dudes" is one of the plagues of the apocalypse. # It sounds like you guys have totally forgotten about The Alamo, adiposity Pearl Harbor and the Charmin. #NeverForget # Why

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-08

FUN shows with @hannibalburess & @fatboyBarnett at @zaniesnashville tonight, sildenafil despite my ridiculous BBQ-smoke-scented shenanigans. # FYI @fortunefunny is awesome and hilarious and my new hero. If you like laughing your ass off go see her every chance you get.

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-09-01

I love going to county fairs just to stay abreast of the latest trends in jailbait fashion. # Nashville doesn't have one of those regional "ha ha! you just ate fried testicles!" things. I say we start doing that w/

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-25

Say funnier stuff and more people will follow you. It's tacky to ASK them to. http://t.co/ZDZZfCLu # Pooning' hooters girls in their butt-holes using 911 sauce as lube. You? (@ Hooters) http://t.co/Jv9v6iv9 # I'm designing the butt-hole equivilent of a

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-18

Parents who park their strollers in the middle of busy walkways should have their babies taken away from them forever. # "Everybody needs to quit talking about my Johnson" – Adorable, find 10-year-old Chad Riden if he were here today

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-11

I'm introducing a network of podcast networks. # My network of podcast networks simply networks multiple networks of podcasts into one giant network of podcast networks. It's pretty great. # apparently I've got a hypothyroid thing.. so being a fat,

Posted in twitter

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-08-04

Offered my 5yo nephew $1 to find my iPhone charger and he said he "has a LOT of money in the bank. I got quarters.. and diamonds.." # .@Mtv's Sucker Free Countdown is comprised of nothing BUT suckas. Why can't

Posted in twitter