Category: columns

crap I wrote, tryin’ to be funny and whatnot

Babycapades, Part 2

Let me start off by saying: “First time parents.. you’re never ready to have your baby! There’s no such thing. Oh, you think you’re ready.. but then it happens and you freak the hell out.” See, I had to say

Posted in columns Tagged with: , ,

Oh, Baby!

For as long as I can remember, my parents had been asking when I was going to get married. Whenever the family would get together the conversation would always turn to marriage and the production of grandkids. I’d always reply,

Posted in columns Tagged with: , ,

Save The Slant!

A little background.. On Tuesday, March 10th, “The Satirical Newspaper Of Vanderbilt University,” The Slant, published and distributed an issue of their paper made to look like the general student newspaper, The Vanderbilt Hustler. The headline: "GEE DEAD." The cover

Posted in columns Tagged with: , , , ,

White, Fluffy Death

It snowed seven inches in Nashville the other day. In many parts of the world this isn’t a big deal. In Tennessee, forecasts of light flurries are like air-raid sirens foretelling our unavoidable total annihilation. Law abiding, civil citizens are

Posted in columns Tagged with: , , ,

All Roads Lead To Nashville

I arrived in Nashville on Sunday, July 23, 2000 with only a guitar on my back and a gleam in my eye. I got a gig singing Johnny Cash songs in one of the Honky-Tonks on Music Row – only

Posted in columns Tagged with: , ,


The World Series is over. The Denver Dingleberries beat out the Austin Egomaniacs 4 – 3.. or something. I don’t know. Honestly, I haven’t given a crap about baseball in years. It’s like wrestling – it’s something you love when

Posted in columns Tagged with: , , , , ,

Ring Of Fire

It has been a long time since my last column. Now that I’ve typed that, I realize that any one of my columns could start with that sentence. I could lie to you and make up some lame excuse about

Posted in columns Tagged with: ,

The Christian Cafe

A couple years ago I wrote a bit that began with jokes about Nashville’s Nascar Cafe shutting down. With a paper thin segue flimsily in place, I suggested that it was just a matter of time until the Baptists opened

Posted in columns Tagged with: , ,

The City That Never Lets Me Sleep

I went to New York again this past weekend for the second time in as many months. MaLady said her friends tell her I must have a mistress in The City. Well, I do.. and her name is Comedy. I

Posted in columns Tagged with: , , , , , , , ,

Mud, Blood, and Dog Crap

Summer is in full swing, and that means people are wearing less clothing than they really should be. If you’re like most people, you’re out at the pool scopin’ out some flesh. If you’re like me, you’re sitting in front

Posted in columns Tagged with: , , , , ,