Category: columns

crap I wrote, tryin’ to be funny and whatnot

Twas The Christmassiest Night Before Kwanzaa

Kwanzaa time in Chad Riden's house

Happy Holidays to you and yours! This is the first year since I converted. I’m Kwanzaa now. I figure: we’ve stolen everything else from black people, site why not this? My family is still on Christmas and they expect material

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Prince’s Hot Chicken with Marc Maron & Ryan Singer

I had the great pleasure of being able to see each of Marc Maron’s shows at Zanies in Nashville this last week and pal around with him and fellow comic Ryan Singer for a bit. Among other places, viagra dosage

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an open letter to all entitled twats

In short, erectile “Go fuck yourself.” Originally this was directed to one person who was blowing up facebook talking shit, thumb totally unprovoked. I’ve since removed the references to that one specific talentless, hacky, derivative, delusional moron to reinforce the

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Jackass picks up roadkill deer off the interstate

Of course, medical the jackass is me. This is a video clip I previously put on the YouTubes but I just put it up on the FunnyOrDie the other day, ampoule so I thought I’d re-whore it. It’s a mostly

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Endorsement: Dr. Bamford’s No-Soap™

Dr. Joel Bamford of Duluth, advice MN has a revolutionary break thru product that I just can’t stop talking about. For years I suffered from dry, buy cracked skin. I’ve grown accustomed to molting my damaged epidermis annually, and along

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Introducing Granny McSassy-Pants

Everybody knows that the best way to stumble upon new, diagnosis fresh, up-and-coming talent is by watching prime time network tv. It is the proving grounds. The trenches. The trial-by-fire, do-or-die, additional-hyphenated-cliche, one and only shot at the Big Time.

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Doug Stanhope indirectly kept me out of jail and Bonnaroo traffic

The following is a long story about how Doug Stanhope indirectly kept me out of jail and/or a speeding ticket back in June 2005. It’s about 2am-ish and I’m doing 85 or so on I-24 trying to get back to

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My “Last Comic Standing” debut

The Chadyterians who follow my career closely already know this, for sale but people keep sending me messages asking when I was going to talk about it all, so I thought I might as well talk about it here: I

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Valentine’s Day

We all know, here the only thing worse than being completely alone on Valentine’s Day is being stuck in a horribly suffocating relationship that has drained you of your very will to live. Valentine’s Day is yet another one of

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Parents Are Full Of Carp

I was just searching the InterWebbie Brand Information Network for.. well, hospital I was ego-searching to be honest.. and I stumbled upon this site and thought, order "WOW! Somebody’s set up a whole website with a bunch of funny stuff

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